UHNW & HNW Women: Succeeding Whilst Managing Family Tensions

UHNW and HNW Women
Succeeding Whilst Managing Family Tensions

Join today’s conversation on why you as an Ultra High Net Worth (UHNW), High Net Worth (HNW) or affluent professional woman should look carefully at your situation and take the most appropriate risks that you feel you would be able to handle. Time is of the essence for you. You want to achieve as much as possible as the years fly by. You are getting older and you feel there is still so much that you want to do before you kick the bucket.

Mingled into this are the expectations of others. The others who are YOUR life partner (husband, fiance, boyfriend, gentleman friend, wife, girlfriend, lover, lady friend). The others who are YOUR family (near and distant, bloodline and step family). The others who are YOUR ‘friends’. The others who are YOUR colleagues. The others who are stakeholders in YOUR life.

You are an UHNW, HNW or affluent professional woman and you have experienced a myriad of life trials and tribulations. You have been through levels of hate, stress, anger, self loathing, emotional upheaval, tears and tantrums. You have also danced along your life journey in the giddiness of joy, happiness, affection, glee, love, elation and adoration.

So, you are what you are and that is an affluent woman. You are shy or an introvert. Perhaps with low level autism. You live in an affluent home. You live an affluent lifestyle. You have weight fluctuations. You have dietary impulses. You have relationship quandaries. Yet right now; today, you are going through family tensions. Possibly family tensions that are about to explode, or have already exploded, concerning your choice of partner, your choice of friends, your choice of colleagues and associates. Throw in the explosive mix of any ethnicity, religious alliance / atheism, nationality, age and gender ‘upsets’ and there you have a family tension just waiting for the ringside bell to start “Round One!” Ding, Ding.

Your family tensions are causing you angst, anger and/or depression. You want to do something reconciliatory regarding a relationship that you want to save. You want to save a relationship that your family do not approve of. Or maybe you simply want to leave a relationship that has grown too dry and too brittle to save. A part of you just wants to walk out the front door and never return. A part of you is wrestling with the responsibilities of the relationship dynamics between yourself, your family and ‘an other’, an other that your family and friends do not approve of.

The question is this. Who manages your life? Who manages your lifestyle? You? Your children; if you have any? Your family? Your friends? Your colleagues? Your social set? What are the objections that you are facing within this family tension of yours?

What is your ego saying to you? What is the voice in your head shouting at you to do, or whispering at you to do? Or indeed showing irony / sarcasm towards the situation. Are you calm in your thoughts or are you swearing and blaspheming to yourself; or under your breath? What type of solution are you seeking to make the family tension go away. What are you willing to sacrifice to reach that solution? How understanding are you to a resolution? How open are you to a compromise? How proactive are you to a resolution? Are you able to draw a line in the sand and mean it? Does No mean NO to you when you are not willing to compromise?

Snapshots of family tensions

Below is a small snapshot of family tensions that you may be going through. Family tensions that are causing you consternation. Family tensions that are causing you anger. Family tensions that are causing you stress. Family tensions that are impacting upon your health. Family tensions that are causing you extremes in your behaviour towards the people whom are throwing further fuel on the bonfire of an already lit and explosive family tension.

Which of these family tensions do you recognise?

1. Your family and friends are due to meet your new partner that you want to marry, but you feel certain that the situation will cause an uneasiness and this is something that you need to clear the air about. Especially with regards to whomever is paying for whatever at the wedding. In addition to who is allowed to contribute towards the wedding that you want AND have a say in the proceedings. All the time you are dearly praying that you do not want it hijacked by your potential in-laws or indeed by your own family who have their own ideas about the type of wedding that you MUST have.
You are an affluent woman. Why do you imagine that this should be a problem?

2. You have a family tension with a particular member of your family not being open with you regarding the indiscretions of your father.
Or perhaps you are coming from parents who are separated / divorced and there is an ongoing issue concerning your mother’s / father’s involvement during your early years. Your early years where your mother / father walked out on your family unit and abandoned your upbringing. Now that you are much older you have a discovery of a few unread letters and unreceived gifts for your birthday anniversaries and other significant special dates from the parent that left your childhood home.

3. Your family tensions are high because your family feel a terrible apprehension that you will no longer support them when you marry someone new. Especially someone that they disapprove of.

4. You have a family tension because you feel considerably unsupported by family members when you are trying to save your business, or, high profile position in an organisation. Or when you want to diversity your income portfolio. You are the primary bread winner and your family are leaving the struggle on your shoulders. Or they want things to remain the same financially, through you and only you.

5. You have a family tension because you are relying on specific people to do the right thing for the good of the family. Yet they are not. They are shirking responsibilities.

Family tensions are notorious for igniting angst, stress, anger, depression et al. Sometimes it needs showing up so that it can be dealt with in order for you to move on. Use the situation to get most if not all of the stuff off your chest so that you can make a clean step towards a successful you and what you want.

6. You have a family tension because you are not interested in having children. Children are not the answer to your life or indeed lifestyle.

7. You have entered a family tension not of your making and definitely need a breathing space from the onset of family traumas. This is all due to a new relationship that you have entered into. Although you are affluent, you are still not being accepted by your partner’s family.

8. You have a family tension because the views of your family or partner have altered more to the extreme.

9. You have a family tension due to the role that you must play as a woman.

10. You have a family tension and living together in a relationship is not an option. Not acceptable.

11. You have a family tension and key members of your partner’s family have a preference for you to be a mistress and not a wife within their family. They do not want your bloodline mixed with theirs. They do not want you to take on their name.

12. You have a family tension where you have received a breakup text message and you want to restore the relationship. Yet your ex wants nothing to do with you. Your ex is tired of being with you. Your ex wants to be left alone by you. Or your ex wants to be with someone else who provides a more conducive and happier ‘different feeling of freedom’ in a relationship.

13. You have a family tension and all you hear are quotes about how lucky you are to be out of a particular situation. To toughen up and move on. That work and making money is all that matters to you in life. That a broken heart is soonest mended over time.

14. You have a family tension and all that everyone is asking you is “Are you sure that this is the one?” “Why not have several ‘ones’ throughout your life?” Multiple ‘love stories’ and relationships. Each relationship having something special that made you walk into it and experience the journey. Perhaps maintaining an on-off affair, or open relationship.

15. You have a family tension where a family member made advances towards you, or actually on you. You rejected the attention from this person. Yet the advancement was observed by someone who has told others. Now there are stories circulating about you leading someone on and breaking up someone else’s relationship.

16. You have a family tension and your marriage is on shaky ground. Your partner has had an affair on a ‘business trip’. Your parter has ‘covertly’ left evidence of the ‘fling’ for you to find, or at least planted a seed of relationship doubt that crosses your mind that there is a likelihood that s/he is having an affair.

17. You have a family tension where your marriage or engagement is seen as a farce and a fantasy. A pretence of a ‘proper relationship’.

When it is time to cut lose from a family tension, cut loose. Speak your mind and continue on your road to success. Hold on to your inner strength as you make the journey. Gather the wanted support around you and keep on your life track. When the Universe delivers it delivers like a joyful and refreshing waterfall.

How do you fight back? How do you stand your ground?

In order to make some semblance of sense of family tensions, you have to look objectively at how YOU view relationships in their totality.

So, with that in mind. How do you view marriage? As archaic? As a once in a lifetime choice with someone special? Or as a plate of perfectly fried and seasoned fish and chips with mushy peas and cornichons with a duet of tomato ketchup and a garlic remoulade?

When your life is in turmoil and you need help, how have you retaliated? Are you the type of person to say what will hurt those closest to you and the truth is somewhere around that. Especially when you have drank much alcohol.

Or do you prefer to have a heart to heart between yourself and the large two boxes of Swiss luxury chocolates and a bowl of speciality pistachio nuts and cranberry mix as you sit in your cashmere pyjamas?

What is your defence for having an affair? What is your defence for instigating a relationship breakdown? What is it that you tell yourself? What is it that you tell others? Your family. Your friends. Your colleagues. “I realised after all this time that I truly did not want to be with you.” “I was on my own at this event and I clicked with someone that truly was my soul match.” “It was madness. It meant nothing.” “I was going through a lapse in time for affection and warmth.” “There was something missing from my life that I needed.”

SO, how do you SUCCEED when your family tensions are taking a stronger grip on your well-being? That you can sense and feel cracks starting to appear through family pressures of what you want, what your partner wants and what the families concerned want.

What about the relationship with your own Self? The most important relationship in your life. How is that going?

“Ladies if it is getting hard for you, contact me. Come and contact me. I am here for you.” Jay at RISE for women coaching. Enable your upper hand to provide for you when you click on the succeed button in your life.